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Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Good and the Bad

Good news and Bad News!
   First - the good news!!!
* You will no longer have to worry about high rent, mortgage payments, utility bills, taxes or even crime!  And best of all - never again worry about where to stash your stuff due to lack of storage space.

Now the bad news!
* All life on earth on earth is about to be reduced to ashes. Bob told me this - you remember bob - my ET friend who visits when I take my pain medications? Yeah - that bob. Lady Fri remembers him cause he peeked under her bandages after her surgery. Anyway - apparently, according to bob, an alien invasion force from Planet X is on its way. Again.  Last time it was canceled due to rising fuel costs. Yeah, they get their spaceship gas imported from OPEC too.

Posted at 03:38 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(2) Pleading Hostages -->  

Thursday, January 08, 2009
A Bad Day at Hawgtown

Daves Computer Is Sick

My computer is ailing and I fear I made things worse by applying my own doctoring care. I really don't have a psychology degree in computers but applied my logic as best I could. I don't have a degree or doctorate in computer surgery  but may have to apply that non talent as well.  Doing nothing hasn't helped and I cant afford a technician to tinker with that stuff.

Yeah, yeah, I know - it would be cheaper to pay a technician rather than end up killing the computer and have to buy a new one.  Thing is - if this one goes down, I wont be buying a new one. This is the end of the line.

Suddenly the thing downloads slow as Dial-Up connections. The ISP ran tests and said the replacement modem they sent because of frequent drop off connections, is reporting better than average speeds when they sent and received data packets. They suggested it was my computer in some way shape or form. Anything from malware, spyware to an Ethernet card on the revolt.

I used my OEM Windows restore disk from Gateway. Pristine condition right? NO! I am still dragging in connection speed.  File downloads that would take at worse 1 hours - now takes anywhere from 5 to 8 hours.  Web pages (some of them) load lots faster but downloading or uploading is unbearably slow.

AND My Sound-Blaster Audigy SE, lost its Karaoke tab in the EAX console.  I got it when I used the SB Updater last year - but now the Updater does not include it. Gotta have it because ya has to have at least a teensy bit of echo when singing with a mic.  GRRRRR - how can a non singer sing anymore?  But wait! Thats not all - and really this last gripe is moot because - MY Microphone isn't working with the sound card.  I kind of doubt the microphone picked NOW to develope a short and die on me prematurely.

I worked up a bad headache working on this thing. I try to download updates - and it takes hours and hours and hours plus more minutes to achieve this goal. Gripe gripe gripe - nag nag nag nag.

And thus - my new years starts out with dashed dreams of being KING KARAOKE SINGER!!! Ok, reality check - I don't EVEN wanna be involved with something as benign as being placed on display in a national karaoke event. I'm  not that good, and the sharks would eat my lunch.  No seriously - Karaoke singers is mean! They take your lunch and throw it in the water and steal your coke machine money. I'm guessing. Oh hush.  I got more sulking to do so leave me to my misery. **sniff-sniff**

Posted at 10:13 pm - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(4) Pleading Hostages -->  

Monday, December 29, 2008
Same Old Song and Dance

We all have off days, those days that just never seem to go right and perhaps confusion is part of the equation.  You know, a visiting aunt is confused with the laundry and you grab her, throw her on the ironing board to iron out the wrinkles, only realizing she isn't the wrinkled shirt after all - its the screaming and cursing that gives it away.

Or perhaps you plug the cat into the 110 outlet instead of the toaster. Or maybe you put that can of root beer in the microwave - not very bright but oh wow! Lots of pretty colors and stuff before the microwave does the mushroom cloud thing that can be seen for miles, the city sounds the nuclear warning siren (yes they have them).., NASA receives a message from the International Space Station that a massive genocidal weapon has been unleashed in your area - the next thing you know military descends on your house with an attitude problem.. ~ sigh ~

My how people tend to over react.  Anyway now that I have your attention, I posted two new songs on the player in the left side bar. (#1) "One Friend" and (#2) "But I Do". Vote on them if you will. 5 stars are appreciated - less than that, I come to your house and throw your aunt on the ironing board, plug your cat into the 110 outlet and I will have a can of root beer - Not that I am actually threatening anybody here, I'm just sayin' Shocked Big Smile  my Christmas songs were removed

Oh Wow! 2008 is almost gone!!!!  What do you think happens to the previous years after we discard them? Just answer the question and stop staring at me that way - I'm sure one of you has some idea. Do they get recycled? Sent to Calender Heaven? what??? - I asked you to stop staring at me like that. Its not nice and frankly its creeping me out.

Posted at 09:28 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(2) Pleading Hostages -->  

Friday, December 26, 2008
A Christmas Carl

Just when you think you seen everything, I.., the Daveman.., was awakened in the middle of the night by something I wasnt prepaired for.  At first I thought it was my Extraterrestrial friend, bob - DANG! Sorry - I keep spelling his name backwards - thats what happens when you spell your name without a capital letter. Anyway - I realized, I had not taken my pain meds, so it wasn't him. Thats the only time he shows up.  No, this was some ashy gray lookin' earth type fella with stinky flesh...,

   "Wooooooo! Woooo!", said the ghastly figure. "I am the ghost called, Carl, and I was never your friend in life. Your loss.  I am here to warn you that three ghosts are going to pay you a visit..."

   "HOLD! HOLD HOLD ON!", I interrupted.  "You cant pull this. I SEEN the movie and I read the book! You aren't going to surprise..."

    "Shut the freak up! I'm SPEAKING here!", Carl returned my interruption. "The first ghost will be the Ghost of Christmas last.  The second Ghost will be the Ghost of Christmas Presents, and the last Ghost will be the Ghost of Christmas Futures."

   I was taken back by it all. "Ok, so I didn't quite see that one coming. My bad. So what am I supposed to learn from these ghosts, Carl?"

   "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!". Carl grimaced, his jaw stuck till he worked it loose with a pencil. "You are too busy jacking your jaws to learn anything.  I tell ya what. I will save the three spirits a trip - the price of gas and all. Your last Christmas, you didn't get what you wanted from Santa because he got side tracked and you spoke ill of him this year so you didn't get everyting you wanted. Serves ya right.'
   "As for your Christmas Presents. I believe I covered that already too. Christmas Futures? Don't invest in anything in the near future!"

      I abruptly got up out of bed and walked up nose to nose with mister stinky Carl. "I have no plans on investing in anything, Santa don't exist and I think you are a load of BAH HUM BUG! So get out of my house, go haunt someone else. You come in here, wake me up from an otherwise sound sleep to tell me a load of djoo-djoo? Get out of here!"

      Carl's face contorted, hideously and his voice raised.., "JOHN, YOU LOUT! I WILL NOW BRING UPON YOU...."

      I yelled back with my own facial contortions, "JOHN!? JOHN!? I am DAVEMAN, you DIP!"

      Carl grew quite and looked confused. Checking his rotted vest pocket, he produced a slip of paper, examining it closer. "You're not John Zachary?"


      "Ok, boy is my face red - uhm - while I'm here, do you know AbbyNormal? She's next on my list, I'll find John after her."  Carl was really flushed for a gray looking dead guy.

      After refusing to divulge their whereabouts and denied knowing Abby, I did the only thing I could do. I gave them Herb's address for John's. I figure if I cant sleep, he cant sleep either. Its only fair right? Where's my A&W - I need a stiff belt,
      Carl left with great anticipation and I actually got a little extra sleep, You guys better behave yourselves! Forget Santa Clause - watch out for the Christmas Carl!

I hope your Christmas was a joyous one
and your New Years is a happy one.
fat chance on the latter, but hey, ya know ;-)

Posted at 10:06 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(9) Pleading Hostages -->  

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Actually I think you would call this a retro-futuresque Merry Christmas
wish - for you all. May things be simple and happy this Christmas &
may Dr, Smith stay out of your hair.  The Robinsons turned him into
a Christmas tree, and boy is they ever happy about dat!! Yessir!!
you may also note - the robinsons are awefully fond of yellow )

Posted at 01:13 am - Scribbled out by Daveman the Cool
<--(4) Pleading Hostages -->  

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